S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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