she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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