Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize