in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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