got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
