Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
