we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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