They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
