So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
