I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
