At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
