just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
