Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
