im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize