8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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