I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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