thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
