Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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