The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
