Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
