Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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