Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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