Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
