Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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