either way he was missing a nipple.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
