remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
