so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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