You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize