wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
