well I can't set my house on fire every night
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
