Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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