hotel room ftw
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I could make wine with my vomit
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
