he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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