the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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