i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
