I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
