I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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