smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
