I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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