I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
