Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
