I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
