Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
