Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i think i just lost a toe
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
