If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
