He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
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He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
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THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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