youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
