new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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