I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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