What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
PANTIES FOUND
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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