my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
