She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
