is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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