And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
