I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
