Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
