Umm I'm too high to move.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
