she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
