i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
