I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
