I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My feet surprised me
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