We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
