Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
