Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
