Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
After last night, I could never be a politician.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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