i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
