I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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