Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
