vagina is talking i cant
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
