my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
